Excuse me, but you just wrote ‘just’. That’s a no-no.
Yeah? Says who?
Oh, just about everyone on FanStory.com, your entire Writers’ Group, the Girl Scouts of America, and I believe the Pope ‘just’ issued a canon…
Just leave the Pope out of this. And stop reading my reviews, nosey parker.
Man, that one guy reamed you pretty good. Said you were ‘wordy’ and ‘undisciplined’.
I’m a wordslinger, dude, that’s what I do. These criticisms just roll off my back. What’s more, I’m creative, not undisciplined. There’s a difference, you know? Now crawl back into the dank recesses of my alter ego’s parallel psyche and leave me the freakin’ french fries alone.
Whoa! Defensive, dude! And wordy! Save some dictionary for the rest of us, huh?
Okay, so I got carried away. Big whoop.
And then there was that lady who had some choice words for you, too. About your poor choice of words, if I remember correctly.
I’ll have you know adverbs are perfectly good…
You just wrote ‘perfectly’ … tsk, tsk—no ‘ly’ words, Shakespeare. It’s in the manual.
Et tu, Brutal?
And what about your Flash story? That guy nearly ripped you a new…
Bloody Flashionista! And for your information, I never called it a Flash story. It was … short, that’s all. So his bloody ‘flash rules’ didn’t even apply.
You just used ‘bloody’ twice in close proximity. Thou shalt not…
Yeah? Well you just used ‘just’!
And I was totally out of line. Strike it out, man! Dele! Out, out damn ‘just’!
I don’t care what you say, I refuse to strike it.
Really? Who are you, Rebel Without a Clause?
I just don’t happen to think we all need to follow the same rules. They’re trying to homogenize us. They want every book to sound the same. That way they don’t have to take any risks. And we—the writers—are letting them get away with it. Criminy, we’re even parroting their rules. Why? Not for art, certainly. For a pay day.
Someone said, ‘Rules are the framework of…’
Oh, go screw your someone. Did James Joyce follow these stupid rules? Hemingway? Virginia Wolf? Nero Wolf, for that matter?
Hmmm, let me think. Dead. Dead. Dead. And would be dead, if the bugger ever lived. You’re out of touch, bro. You got to go with the flow, man. Walk the straight and narrow. Get on the same page…
And become just another one of your cliches?
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
You just wrote ‘just’. That’s a no-no.
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