A wise man thinks before he speaks.
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Getting old's a challenge.
It’s hard to do quite well.
Creaky joints make that point,
And thinning hair, as well.
Nearsighted eyes now see fine
when driving down the lane,
but close-up print has shrunk so small
it’s driving me insane!
My hearing’s gone and faded.
Now, if you’d please speak up
I’ll try my best to hear you
While drib’ling from my cup.
I’ve never suffered fools well
but, now my hip’s a pain,
when idiots get on my nerves
I whack ‘em with my cane
It takes a sense of humor
to age with style and grace.
To ‘preciate, with Pampers gone,
Depends done took their place.
copyright 2015 by N.K. Wagner
Only comedians want people to laugh at their efforts.
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At rehab today I was mashed and stretched.
I thought of childbirth to cope with the strain.
The guy next to me used to box in a ring.
Pummled face was his image of pain.
We compared notes as we compared woes,
Agreed that the toughest one wins.
It wasn't quite fair when I took that dare--
'Cos I'd given birth to twins.
A gentleman is known by the company he keeps …
a lady by whom she avoids.
MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S SCARE
The lion in our High school production had tiny eyes that looked that way because her glasses were so thick. She also wore a lion mask. We literally had to guide her on stage. She was to blindly pounce on me and pull off my cape with a lot of growling. That was the idea.
The big day came. It was our first performance. A newspaper reporter was there. This was huge for all us budding thespians.
Suddenly it was my big scene. I was dressed in a flowing gown. It ‘flowed’ six inches over my shoes. The girl who wore it the previous year was six feet. I was a whole foot shorter. I sighed and gripped a bunch of skirt in my fist and walked on stage.
It was the matinee. I saw the sea of faces looking up. Our director pushed lion into the forest. I was center stage. I felt the pull as my cape was taken. I heard the roars. Not just lion roars. Then I felt cold.
I looked down my dress was in my hands. I had been disrobed. Those roars were from the audience. A whole row of boys on the back had finally taken interest in a Shakespearean play.
N.K. Wagner is the publisher and Executive Editor of Page & Spine.
C_lucas is my pen name. It’s meant to protect the guilty, namely me.
Writer Jenny Harp is a New Zealander grandmother who lives in the United States with her husband and loves God, life and family.