CRUMBS ~ AUGUST 24, 2012

8/24/2012

crime does not pay … taxes.
- L. Oliver Bright

Homeless Delivery

“Scram, kid!” The front door slams and I’m left holding delivery pizza.
Gino’s gonna kill me. This’ll be the third time this week I’ve returned
with bogies--- phone-prank delivery orders. See, Gino’s convinced our
staff is responsible for them because policy states we can eat anything
returned.
I make a detour onto Main, snap a picture.

Right away Gino knows my cash is short. He shivs me the evil eye.
“A bogey,” I stammer.
“So where’s my missing pie?”
I show him my cell phone pic.
“You gave Homeless Danny my pizza?”
“Just a bogey, Gino.”
“Heeeey! Good, bambino.”

- Lee Allen Hill

The politician set forth his goals
To the folks who would vote in the polls.
His lies promised them all
For their votes in the Fall
In exchange for their most venal souls.

- Paula Tisson

There once was a man from East Ireland
Tried to write on ode to an island.
When his limerick failed
“Bleep it,” he wailed.
“There's nothing that rhymes with Nantucket!”
- Randy Mann

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CRUMBS, 2012