I share Hawthorn’s birth date—I wish I shared his talents.
May I Interest You in Dessert?
The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.
“Who’s there?” said the man, wiping stringy salamander stew from his lips.
“Your imagination, sir.”
“Splendid,” said the man. “Fetch me some ice cream for dessert.”
“Which flavor, sir?”
“Do we have Black Cherry Swirl?”
“Of course, sir.”
“Freshly churned, sir.”
“Chocolate Fudge Ripple Surprise?”
“Yes, sir--with extra surprises.”
The last man on Earth stared into his empty stew bowl and shook his head. “Why the hell didn’t I order the filet mignon?”
-Lee Allen Hill
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"There's the good side and the bad side
the upside and the downside.
There's the inside and the outside,
the bedside and the wrong-side-of-the-bed-side,
the nearside and the farside,"