I believe quiet Sundays have a pleasant groggy quality-- except during football season. -L. Oliver Bright
Lifestyles of the Kitsch and Tasteless
I just can’t understand why he is leaving me. I should probably ask him about it. But one of my favourite shows is on the TV. Trying to appeal to our shared past, I point at the screen. ‘Ooh,’ I say, ‘there’s Gary Jacobs. Remember him? He helped us get our first house.’ My husband says nothing. Just carries on packing. So I flick the channel, saying, ‘look, there’s Kevin Andrews. He taught me how to cook for you.’ Perhaps fatefully, the next channel shows a relationship guru who’s helped me out before. ‘Should I call in this guy?’ That’s when my husband walks past me saying, ‘Is this a marriage, or just one long TV show?’ Then he’s gone. My friend the TV says, ‘looking to get divorced, live on television? Then don’t delay – call this number!’ I think for a minute. Then I pick up the phone.
copyright 2014 - Shaun Avery
Shaun Avery writes prose and comic scripts and whatever else occurs, and though most of them are satirical like this one, he's honestly a happy kind of guy.
To solve the national debt, pay politicians what they’re really worth. - Charles Lucas
♦ Charles Lucas is my pen name. It’s meant to protect the guilty, namely me.
♦ This author's generous contributions help make P&S possible.